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  • Episode 39: My Family Thanksgiving

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    Summary:

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    In this episode:

    In this latest episode we talk all about the joys and challenges of celebrating Thanksgiving with my family. Tune in to hear about my tensions relationship with my relatives, the precious moments I shared with my toddler daughter, and the new memories we made together.

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    Transcript:

    Well, hello and welcome to another episode of the single father podcast. I’m your host, Kendall Donica, AKA father DZ coming here to help make life a little bit more easy. We talked about the joys of challenges of raising kids on our own. And join us for inspiring stories, practical advice, and to healthy dose of humor. As we navigate the ups and downs of single fatherhood.

    Together. Follow us for the latest episodes behind the scenes content and a community. Of fellow single dads. Like you. Let’s vent. Together. All right, guys. Well, thank you for allowing me to vent with you today. Um, Like I said, we’re trying to get back up and running, going back to weekly episodes, giving you amazing content, hopefully some amazing guests and hopefully some amazing stories I can share with you about my life and where it’s going, where it’s headed and where it’s been.

    You know, when we’re talking about relationships on this podcast, sometimes it can get emotional. Sometimes I can speak about the love of my life, the hurt in my life, the challenges in my life. But most of all, I like to talk about the true family in my life. Most of all. When it comes to the relationship with my daughter, I love to talk about that specifically. It being a single father podcast. So I want to talk to you guys about my journey with this little girl.

    But I also wanted to talk about a holiday that we just had. That’s also been a little bit challenging for me with my family, and that would be Thanksgiving. You know, when my parents got divorced. Celebrating holidays like this Christmas, Thanksgiving, et cetera. You know, it wasn’t really a big possibility.

    I remember every year when I was younger, our family got together, whether it was with extended family or with our own. We always got together and made this big, fantastic meal. It’s like the meal you guys are imagining right now, maybe for some of you, it’s your favorite holiday? For me, Tom lane. But.

    You know that meal, I’m talking about, I’m talking about the home cooked meals. The, the macaroni and cheese that Turkey. The freshly baked ham, the stuffing. All of the favorites that you have on Thanksgiving. I’m talking about that. I’m talking about That.

    And by the way, I’m ethnic. I come from an ethnic background African-American so the food that comes my way on Thanksgiving. It’s amazing. No offense to anyone who’s not ethnic. I’m just saying it’s been my experience that, uh, some of you don’t season your food. But with my family, it was absolutely amazing.

    Well, my parents got a divorce. It was almost kind of like a. An episode of game of Thrones.

    It was like a choose of side type of thing. One side, went with house mother. The other side, when we went with house father.

    Me and myself, I kind of lean towards house father. And for anyone who’s been following me for quite some time knows the reasons why. But then. Shortly after that, it was kind of house on my own.

    And for many, many years, I didn’t celebrate Christmas or Thanksgiving. And rainy other big holiday with any of my family, let alone, even really myself. And what I mean by myself is. I chose not to celebrate it even when I was alone, because I just had no one.

    To celebrate it with besides myself, if that makes sense. So. Each and every holiday. Thanksgiving year after year. It wasn’t celebrated. Especially within our family. After my family got a divorce was a very fractious environment. And anything that anyone would try to do to fix it. When it came close to the holidays, intentions and feelings were rising. It could never be fixed.

    Now a couple of years ago, four years ago to be exact, I had a daughter. And one of the best things about having my daughter is I felt I had the chance finally, within my grasp. To have a family once again. Get back to those old traditions. Get back to the things that I loved within my family. I thought.

    I mean, I raised my daughter in the air, like move fossil from the lion king and I thought this was my. Ticket. My key. To getting my family back together. And if not that then making a family of my own.

    But shortly after that, I fell into what seems to be like a hereditary. Type of curse within my family. And unfortunately.

    Her mother and I ended up breaking up.

    And that dream my ad. For a family. To get back to the way things were. They ended with the signature of a finger by a judge.

    And with that. So did all of my ambitions to get back to the way things were.

    Well, my daughter was one years old. On Thanksgiving.

    Really wasn’t celebrated. I mean, Hey. There’s one, right. No reason to. Technically celebrate that. One of the things she’s eating is baby food. When she was too.

    Yeah. I had some family around, but. It wasn’t Thanksgiving. It wasn’t celebrated.

    When she was three.

    I didn’t even have her for Thanksgiving. She was with her mother.

    Now my daughter is four.

    We all grown a little bit.

    And as house mother. Was so much out of the picture.

    How’s dad and house myself was still very much in the mix.

    We bonded. He had a daughter. A new one. I have my daughter.

    And this year. My grandmother. My Nana. She comes to me and says just like every year. I’m not going to celebrate it. But me, your uncle and his kids. We’re all going to the buffet for Thanksgiving.

    We’re going to go to a buffet and. And just enjoy ourselves for Thanksgiving, right?

    I said, that sounds great. Hey. We don’t really celebrate Thanksgiving in our family anymore. I’ll come with you.

    But then I asked my dad what he was doing.

    He said, um, Oh, I’ve got no plans.

    I asked his mom, my grandmother, but she was doing. She said she has no plans. Those are the only family that lives in town. Right.

    And then I saw an opportunity.

    I could’ve gone to the buffet with my Nana and my uncle. And probably had a good time with my daughter since I had her for Thanksgiving this year.

    Or.

    I could do something different. Something. Unheard of within our family.

    I could bring our family. Together.

    So I decided to do just that. I called my Nana. I said, cancel your plans. You’re coming over my house. I called my uncle. I said, cancel your plans. I’m hosting Thanksgiving this year. I called my dad and I said,

    You have somewhere to be. You’re coming over my house. I called my grandmother. I said, guess what you have somewhere to be. You’re coming over my house.

    Went to think, went to Costco, got a whole bunch of stuff for Thanksgiving.

    And then I Googled or Edward. Or should I say one on YouTube and learn how to cook a Turkey? On a warm Southern these things up. How to, how to serve a proper Thanksgiving dinner.

    I cleaned my house immaculately.

    This was important to me. This will be the first time. And God. I don’t know, maybe eight years.

    And my family can be together.

    All of us together.

    In our own way. You know,

    So I get all this stuff together.

    And then comes Thanksgiving. I bought eggnog. About beer. I got, I bought wine about apple cider. I bought turkeys, macaroni, everything that I loved. From when I was younger, I bought it. I got it.

    I wanted everything to be. How it was when I remembered it.

    And then came the big day.

    My family.

    My family comes over.

    I mean instantly just start laughing.

    And enjoying ourselves and talking amongst ourselves, I had the Christmas day parade. But showing in my living room, I had everything together on the tables. I had little snacks, little board that I put out on my tables. Everyone gets snack on it while. Well, things are getting together. My Nana comes over, realized that I had one Turkey ready. And the other one that was far, and I mean far from actually being done.

    I tell her I’m Nana. Oh my God. I just can’t be everyone’s counting on me. I didn’t. She’s like, don’t worry. Give me a pan. This is, this is a true. A black woman trick right here. I feel like no offense. And I really mean this. No offense, but I feel like only a block. Only a, an old school, black woman could think of this.

    She says, don’t worry. Give me a pan. I’ll have it done in no prime. I give her a pan. She put some butter in the pan and she starts cutting the Turkey with a long night for. Uh, serving knife, right. She starts cutting the Turkey, put some insane. Cuts it into individual pieces. Put those pieces on the pan. She starts cooking the Turkey and real time.

    And she says, it’ll be ready in 10 minutes. Get the rest of the stuff ready.

    I said, oh my God. She saved me. I wouldn’t have known how to do to do that. I would’ve just put it back in the oven and say, sorry. Uh, we’re going to extend it another two hours, I guess. But no, she saved me. She saved my Thanksgiving.

    And then.

    Something amazing happened. There was absolutely no problems.

    Everyone’s laughing. I have a VR headset. Everyone’s playing VR. We’re playing UNO. We’re drinking eggnog. We’re getting drunk. We’re having a great time. My daughter’s happy. My daughter stuffs her belly. She falls asleep. Everyone says how cute she is.

    My cousins are over. I’m playing with them and learning new things about. Nintendo’s and things like that.

    Everyone’s pleasant. Everyone’s happy. And we shared some really beautiful memories that day.

    But no one was more happier than me.

    Because for the first time, in many, many years, I got to celebrate. Thanksgiving. With my family.

    And believe me. It was a fractious family.

    I would have loved my siblings there. I would’ve loved my mother there.

    Maybe in another world, I would have loved my daughter’s mother there.

    How would I love to have a significant other there?

    But I had my family with me.

    And that was good enough for me.

    And when I realized. Is, I don’t need.

    I don’t need anyone specific. To make me feel like I have a family.

    I just need a hand few. A handful of very few.

    Give me that feeling.

    And I realized at the end of the day,

    My daughter. Is all the family that I need.

    Because. I think when it really comes down to it. I didn’t get everyone together. Just. Because I think I did it from my daughter.

    To give her the memories. I was missing.

    To give her those moments. That I loved. And I cherished from when I was younger. To her, for her to think of the macaroni and cheese, the Turkey, the food.

    I have no doubt that she would get that her mom’s house.

    I wanted her to get it with me too. I wanted to share those moments with her. And for her to share them with me.

    I wanted her to feel like she has. A family.

    And it was a beautiful time.

    Now I wish I could end it there.

    However.

    Much like any other family.

    There are the things that.

    You wish were different. The things that disappoint you, the things. The emotions that come up.

    The irritate mints, the. The bad part about your family? I should say.

    This one is a little difficult for me.

    For many years, my uncle. As always been the type of person that can really.

    Well, you can really grind your gears. He’s a very macho. Man’s man. But he doesn’t show that subtly. He very much shows it with great extravagance. And on a grand scale. You wants to let you know of his mantra. Because of his manlihood. Of is don’t fuck with me behavior. It’s not thuggish, but it’s very in your face.

    He’s the type of man that. You would think potentially is a little bit of a narcissistic. He’s very self absorbed in. And. At times arrogant.

    And I don’t mean to speak any badly about my family, but. I want to give you guys the context to his personality.

    I love him very much. But throughout my life, I can only speak the truth and the truth is. That I’ve always been somewhat intimidated by him because of this.

    Because that type of personality that very in your face persona. It illuminates. Right. You can think he is a larger than life character, but when people say larger than life,

    I don’t know if they always mean it in a good, good way. I think that can also mean in a bad way as well. And I’m not saying his persona was necessarily good or bad. But I will say that his persona was very much intimidating.

    It made you uneasy. It made you very tentious. I gave off a very tentious nature about being around him or with him.

    It was always known within my family that he’s a bit of a hothead and. And to be quite honest, there’s always been known. There has been in mental health issue in our family.

    Now who has it or. You can speculate all day long. But. It’s a known fact.

    With my uncle for many years, there’s been. A very tenuous relationship with him. And I do know his persona and also due to some things that. My mom has said about him in the past, too. Nothing. Crazy the way you think, but. You know, I remember when I was younger. And I don’t remember the context, but him and my mom had a very big fight.

    And I remember her telling me. That she was quite afraid of him.

    You know, He was quite. She was quite fearful of him.

    And I remember being young. And that’s one of these key moments in your life that you just remember because it kind of haunted you.

    It was nothing. Sexual or any of that nature of abuse that she was referring to, but it was mostly just. Fear.

    Intimidation.

    I remember I was laying in bed with my mother, mother when I was young watching TV.

    And then we heard a knock at the door.

    She looked who it was and didn’t answer.

    And then we heard the door open.

    He walks in the door.

    Goes, halfway up the stairs. And him and my mom have this verbal argument. I remember. She specifically told him. Do not come any closer.

    I remember my uncle’s face thinking. I mean, I can see it clearly. And his face. Thinking that she was being ridiculous.

    I remember how baffled he was with my mother’s behavior. Or reaction to his presence.

    But to be quite honest, I was so young. I don’t really remember the context of what was being presented to me.

    I remember after that there were many years. I didn’t speak to my uncle. Mostly because of my mom’s. Um, wishes, I guess you could say. Or influence on me.

    I was very protective of my mother back in the day. And I knew that whatever that was.

    I felt that he was wrong.

    Now, again, anyone who’s followed this podcast for awhile, you know that now I have a very tenuous relationship with my mother.

    I see her very differently.

    And when I think about that day, I think about. How my mother reacted. And I think about my uncle’s face. And how he thought that she was being ridiculous.

    They often say truth and madness lie in the same stream. I don’t know what was said that day. I don’t know what was done. Until this day, I don’t know who was wrong.

    To be fair. I’m not sure if it was, I don’t know if it was that much of a big issue. Before I do known that for many years. I didn’t speak to my uncle after that.

    After a while him and I reconnected.

    I think when I was a teenager. This is when we started to reconnect more.

    You started opening up to me about. Um, a lot of things.

    And it was really when my parents got divorced, that he really became very involved in telling me all the things that I needed to know.

    Some things about my mother. Some things about my father. Some things about my biological father. And some things about maybe the way she acted when she was younger.

    None of them want to go into it all as of right now. I mentioned it on previous episodes, but. There were a lot of things that my mother has done. And if people have told me. That makes me. Needless to say very disappointed.

    And. Throughout that process.

    I reconnected with my uncle when about many things. Introduce me to my love of comics. I love of superheroes. My love of collectibles. And fantasy movies and. Animated cartoons.

    One of his favorites were. Batman the animated series and I loved it. He gave me a whole bunch of CDs to watch with him.

    And it felt so awesome. Just. Connecting with someone on a nerdy level. They always say, girl, doesn’t go, go for a nerd. And I had really. Not only that, but I had no friends around me to nerd out with.

    Introduced me to one of my favorite shows of all time, Smallville it’s about how Superman was raised before he became Superman. My favorite show. I really bonded with him.

    But the other thing is. Every time I was around him. See, I bonded with him in person. And I mean, I bonded with him over the phone. But in person.

    It’s like.

    Riding a bike almost. In person. It was like, he brought me right back to that tension.

    He brought me right back to feeling uncomfortable. Do you feeling uneasy? Every time he’d give me a hug. He smacked my back. You know how you give a hugs? When you smell you pat someone’s back, you would smack it with the force of Zeus.

    Every time I spoke to him, he would make me come out in the backyard with him and he, while he had a cigarette and I hated the smell of smoke.

    Get a very commanding.

    Presence in his house. And yeah, he’s the man of his house. Right. But it was. I could tell it made everyone feel uneasy.

    I hated it.

    Now my Nana. Again, For anyone who’s. Listen to me for a very long time, know that my Nana is like my mother.

    She’s my she’s my mom’s mom, my uncles, mom. But she really took me in after my parents got divorced. She adopted me, got me through high school, put me up in college, like. She’s my mother, you know, she’s protected me, guided me. And it’s kind of true what they say that.

    Woman. She took me in high school. I was very angry, angry child, and I was such an asshole. I was angry at the world, angry at my parents, angry at everything. I had so much regret how I treated her during that time. Every teenager does. But. I regretted it.

    I love her so very much, but I’m very protective of her. She’s my Nana is a very sensitive person. She comes from a very. She’s an impressive woman, but she comes from a very, um, deeply black rooted. Cultural background. That’s. Um, consistent with racism and discrimination. In. Um, a degrading aspect towards women.

    You know, she. Puts herself in a high standard when it comes to being a woman and being a woman of color. But she’s also very defiant, but she’s also very, uh, defensive and. Sensitive. You know,

    Um,

    But I’m very protective of her. Because I always said if there’s one person in this world that I know for certain loves me. To be honest, as of right now, even more than my daughter. I know that. Even more than my own little girl that she loves me more than anyone on this earth.

    I’m not even, and hear me on that. I’m not even sure if my daughter loves me as much as my Nana loves me. I know that the woman loves me. She would do anything for me. You ever have a family like that? Where you know that no matter what you do, no matter what you’ve done, there is nothing you could ever do.

    That would ever come between your guys’s love.

    She loves me.

    Just like how I love my daughter. And I know that because the love she feels from me. I feel from my little girl.

    I say that. Because. Once, and for all, I have to explain this woman. Is my mom.

    And for many years, I would see my uncle come up. And treat my Nana.

    With. Someone of. Uh, misguided disrespect.

    And I hated it.

    I hated it because it was, it was very.

    It’s a type of disrespect that you don’t even know that you’re doing it. But yeah, everyone sees it.

    I would see him come up and visit, visit my Nana’s house. My Nana has. You know, a one bedroom. Um, No senior apartment.

    And she has a pull-out. She’s a pull-out, uh, uh, couch. Pull up mattress couch.

    So every once in awhile, I’d see the whole family sleep on the, on the pullout couch.

    And I’d see my Nana sleeping in her bed. But more often. I would see a pillow and a blanket spread out in her closet.

    And I’d say, Nana, what? What is this? And she’s like, I sleep in the closet when they’re here. And my Nana would brush it off a side, like, oh no, no, no, no. I don’t even, it doesn’t bother me, but it holds what the fuck it bothered me. Uh, but, but. I thought she was joking. There’s no way my Nana actually sleeps in the closet.

    But then.

    I started noticing it more and more. Year after year. Year after year. Multiple times a year, this one would sleep in the closet. And the older manana got a more started to bother me. Mike she’s a 66 year old woman. She’s a 70 year old woman. And this year. I’m like she’s a 72 year old woman. Sleeping in a fucking closet.

    I remember a couple of months ago, I started to talk. With my uncle about the way he is treating my Nana and this and that. Not giving her this bubble ball of that.

    And I remember he got so defensive at me. And we didn’t talk for maybe like two months.

    But this time, this year where I wanted everything to be perfect. And my Nana’s saying how sad she is about, you know, The state of our family and things like that. This year. I think. It just boiled up and boiled up and boiled up. Where I couldn’t take it anymore.

    I started with Thanksgiving.

    I asked him to be at my house by one o’clock. I called him beforehand because Hey, black people are always late. Okay. I get it. But I called him beforehand and I said, look, man, I really need you to be here by one, in any Montana to help me with this Turkey. Is that. Okay. No problem. He didn’t come from maybe like 1 45.

    My Nana tells me he was just laying down on the couch and took a shower, took a long, long shower.

    And that’s the kind of thing that I’m talking about. The personality trait, everything revolves around him.

    It comes over my house. Like I said, everything was perfect. I let it go.

    The next day, my Nana calls me. Uh, practically crying about. Him. Putting her down in front of the kids. Things like that.

    Asking her for some money after he gambled and.

    And, um, Her sleeping in the closet.

    And I think. I just had it at that moment, you know? I think I just said, look, this is, this is it. And what have you ever been so afraid to talk to somebody even as a grown man I’m 27 years old, but even I kinda. I don’t tell my dad everything. Right. And what I mean by that is I don’t tell him everything I feel. I mean, we don’t have that type of emotion thing. Right.

    And so I was, there’s so much tension between me and my uncle sometimes.

    But I called him.

    And I say, hang on, call Matt.

    Like you can’t be having Nana sleep in a closet. Next time.

    Come stay with me. No problem. LOL. I texted him at first. Then he calls me. And heart races. Because I already knew.

    So I took a deep breath and I said, you know what? I’m 27 years old. I’m a man.

    So I answered the phone. She says, Hey man. I was up at that text. Let me say, Hey man, well, you know, Nana has been telling me that. She’s been sleeping in a closet. Next time, stay with me. He says. Yeah. So you’re telling me. What like are you trying to come at me in some way? It’s a no. I’m looking out for your mother.

    My mother. I don’t appreciate that she sleeps in the closet. I said, oh, really?

    So what you. You you criticizing me or you, you trying to teach me a lesson here or what. I said, look, man.

    Relax. All I said. What’s the next time. Stay with me. I got a two bedroom, big ass condo here. He’s like. Oh, you didn’t offer us to stay with you. Did you? And I said, no. But I, I, I just didn’t think you’d. Let Nana sleep in a closet. He’s like, did you even know that? I didn’t know. Let’s just sleep in the closet.

    And I said, look, man, I.

    I don’t see how you didn’t know she’s been doing it for years. Every time you come. And he said, well, where else are we going to sleep? 10. Listen, I don’t know.

    But I just didn’t expect a 72 year old woman. Your mother. To be sleeping. In a closet. On the floor.

    Silence.

    He said, all right, man. So we’ll just want to say.

    And I said, please don’t ever have my Nana sleep on the closet again. You said, let me repeat what you just said. You said don’t you ever let my Nana sleep on a closet again? And I said, no, no, no, no, no, buddy.

    You’re just. You’re emphasizing it. I say, please. Don’t have her sleep on the closet again.

    And he said. You know what. And I said, look before. Listen. Before you say whatever you’re about to say.

    I’ve heard it so many times before in so many different ways, in so many different fashions from this family. And it’s fine.

    I’m just looking out for your mother. My Nana. And if you don’t appreciate that, then say what you got to say.

    But.

    I stand by what I said.

    He says, guess what? You don’t have an uncle. Things up the phone.

    And, you know, what.

    It really didn’t bother me. I mean. In some. Way bothers me, I guess, because I have to be bothered by it because it’s my family, but.

    I’m going to say something to you guys that.

    I don’t think I really would say to a lot of people just.

    I guess what I’m trying to say is. I don’t really have a value.

    For family. Like you guys might.

    And it sounds weird, but maybe in some way you can kind of interpret what I’m saying.

    I don’t really value. Family and the way you might think. My family. My family.

    My family has always been fractured. My family has always been broken.

    My family.

    Has always been conditional. Love. Not unconditional.

    My family has always been defensive. Critical. Hurtful. Painful.

    And I, at a certain point, I think you say. My family.

    I don’t want any more of my family.

    I want my own family.

    A family of my making. A family of my choosing.

    An unconditional. Love.

    My family.

    That’s what I want.

    So at the end of the day, After he hung up. Yeah, I didn’t. I didn’t really care.

    And it was because my family.

    I don’t know if I ever really cared that much about.

    My family.

    Because they haven’t been.

    My family. In quite some time.

    And that may sound. However it sounds.

    But I’m going to be honest. That’s the truth.

    And I may reword that differently down the line. I may. Change the verbiage of that down the line. But.

    When it comes down to it through and through at the heart of it. That is my truth.

    My Nana.

    She’s amazing. She.

    Holds a lot of. Things together.

    In our family.

    She brings people together. She helps people. She’s kind, she’s loving.

    She values. Family.

    And she would be disappointed to hear me say that, but.

    But it’s.

    Not really my family.

    I feel like I’m trapped in my family.

    Itching to get out. Influenced by the behaviors of my dad. Who was. Horrible. To my mom.

    Influenced by my mom. Who was. Manipulative and deceiving.

    Influenced by my uncle.

    It was.

    Bold arrogant. Intentious.

    Influenced by my Nana who’s strong.

    But easily hurt.

    I just want to get away.

    Now I will tell you.

    And my family. My daughter. My Nana.

    My dad and my grandma.

    I love them all.

    But when I think about my family,

    I think about the one I have yet to build.

    So, yeah.

    That’s my family.

    The fractured. Unorganized.

    Hurtful.

    Conditional loved family.

    But it is my family.

    I just hope I build a new one, one day.

    I look.

    In truth. I did a lot of venting with you guys today. I don’t know if that’s how I really feel. More if that’s how I feel now.

    I don’t know if those were my true words or just the words I’ve. Chosen to choose.

    I don’t know if that’s the way my heart feels or just the way my heartbeats.

    But I can only say what the truth feels right now.

    And that’s my truth.

    And that’s my family.

    So.

    Would that being said.

    I hope all of you out there. It had an amazing Thanksgiving. And I hope that whatever family you have. Whatever thing you’re going through or whatever. Family member is challenging your thoughts or.

    Breaking your heart.

    I hope that. You get to build the family that you want to build.

    Keep the family that you want to keep. And distance yourself from the family that needs a distancing.

    I hope that love finds you.

    I hope that peace surrounds you.

    And I hope that comfort consumes you.

    I hope that you’re happy.

    And to all the people. Or allowing me to vent with you today.

    I hope. That we can vent together again soon.

    All right guys. That’s the episode. I didn’t have time to get to the questions part of the episode today, but we will do that next week or I will answer. All of your questions that you might have for me. Listen, if you guys want a guaranteed question, by the way, there’s a section of our podcast called mailbag mailbag. We do at the end of every podcast episode, and I’ll answer some of the questions I get brought into us.

    And you can do that by emailing me at hello. At vent pack. Dot org and in the subject line type of mailbag and just type the question that you want to be read on the show. If you want. Uh, guaranteed. Answer to your question. If you want a question guaranteed, to be read on the show. Then join our Patrion. It’s the price of a cup of coffee, just about five bucks a month. It’s a patrion.com/a single father podcast. Make sure you join the Patrion and you’ll have your question guaranteed to be answered as long as it’s, you know, somewhat appropriate.

    Um, I will guarantee I’ll answer that in the show and I’ll do a little shout out for you at the end of the show as well. Um, or if you just want to take your chance and ask some casual questions, you can just email me with the mail bag. Uh, if you want an opportunity to vent with me on the show, if you want to be a guest and have a little venting session together, if you have a family member that you want to talk about with me on the show, well, guess what you can do that you can join our Patrion patrion.com/a single father podcast, and join with the tears where you be able to vent with me on the show.

    And I look forward to venting with you very, very soon. Make sure to follow us on social media, which is just pretty much everywhere. The single father podcast, Instagram. Uh, Facebook, YouTube. Um, Eventually, um, you know, I’m not sure the timeframe on it, but eventually I’ll be doing video podcasts where I’ll be uploading those to YouTube, just to make sure you stay tuned for behind the scenes content, et cetera.

    And guys just thank you for supporting me. Um, most of all, be sure to like subscribe, share, leave a review. Really helps. Allows us to. You know, Um, bring more content on the show, gain more notoriety, get more guests. Um, create better episodes for you. Um, if you just want to support the podcast again and go to our Patrion, just to be a supporter.

    Um, if any of this resonated with you. Let me know Dami, follow us on socials. Follow us on the podcast. I look forward to venting with you guys very, very soon. So with that being said, I don’t think I’m missing anything. You guys have a great holiday. And, um, May, I guess I’ll be giving you the details after Christmas. We’ll see how that goes until next time.

    I’m Kendall Donica, father DZ. Bye-bye.

  • Episode 38: My Favorite Netflix List (Bonus)

    Available Everywhere You Enjoy Podcasts!

    Summary:

    Don’t Forget to like, subscribe, share, & leave a review. Follow us on Facebook & Instagram

    In this episode:

    • I take a break from life’s stressors and give you a breakdown / insight into my favorite things to watch on netflix to make for an epic lazy sunday or the perfect netflix and chill.

    Let me know what you think about this episode on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/thesinglefatherpodcast/

    Sponsors and Attributions:
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    -Sponsored By: https://www.thekeys.ai/

    We are featured 10 Best Single Father Podcasts: https://blog.feedspot.com/single_dad_podcasts/?feed_id=5440114#h5440114

    The Single Father Podcast is brought to you by VentPack. Visit VentPack.org for show notes and more information on the company’s mission to combat challenges of single fatherhood with resources, digital products and mental health support.

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    Support this podcast: https://www.patreon.com/thesinglefatherpodcast

    Transcript:

    Well, hello, ladies and gentlemen, and otherwise is your host Kendall Donica, AKA father DZ, giving you another episode of the single father podcast. Thank you so much for joining me on today’s episode. Today’s a little different. Um, I had some things going on. Uh, in my life that. Stress me out. And I think we’re going to talk about it next.

    Uh, next week on next episode. However today I want to do something just fun. I want to do something relaxing. I wanted to give you guys a little bonus episode, if you will. And to kind of, um, my life and a little bit of my personality. Um, so our, I wanted to go over something. Eh, well, if any of you know me, you guys know I’m a very big moving and a TV guy.

    I love. Uh, being a home body. I love staying at home. Watching movies, love TV. Um, and over the course of me, Literally buying every single streaming service. I’ve actually, um, credit the list on each and every one of my streaming services on the TV shows that I like, um, the list is just strictly TV shows. I’m not sure why. I just felt like TV shows.

    You know, it’s a nice date, you know? I keep putting on a nice, uh, TV show and you have something to watch together. I watch it. Uh, you know, back of with myself, I dunno. I dunno why it’s just TV shows, but it is. So when every single streaming service, I have a list of TV shows that I like. I’m going to go over them with you, um, starting with Netflix and just keep it kind of, um, a rundown on some of the shows that I’m watching. And I thought that would be a fun bonus episode.

    Just to kind of switch it up a little bit. And, um, give you guys a nice little insight. And uh, next week we’ll, we’ll get back into the nitty-gritty and deep stuff and talk about. Thanksgiving and family and all of that good stuff and some of that negative stuff. So, um, all right. Without further ado, let’s get into it.

    So the first on my list here is going to be well, we’re starting with Netflix. The first one list is going to be manifest. I got to admit manifest is one of those shows that started off interesting and then kind of lost me. It’s on my list because. I want to give it another look, I wanted to give it another second chance.

    It’s kind of like walking dead. The walking dead. I’m not sure where that streams on, but it was on my list for a while. Um, just shows that, you know, I want to pick back up again, walking dead, start out really interesting. Um, started out really amazing and then completely lost me and got really boring.

    And that’s kind of how I feel about manifest. Uh, we’ll see. The next on my list is called unsolved mysteries. I know a lot of ladies out there especially are really big. A murder mystery. You know, kind of, uh, fans. And, uh, that’s really what I love and what I’m into. I love a good mystery. I love a good murder mystery podcast and the unsolved mysteries talking about real crimes about, um, basically just what it is, unsolved mysteries. It’s so interesting. And I just absolutely love it.

    Amazing amazing. The next one on my list is called true story. Uh, I am not going to lie. I completely forgot what this, the shows. Oh, I do know it’s about. So, yes, your story is awesome. And it’s a little mini series with Kevin Hart and it’s where Kevin Hart doesn’t actually play. The funny guy really? I mean, he plays a funny guy kind of on.

    In the show. Like kind of a meta thing, but he’s not. He’s not comedy in this show is kind of a more serious. Uh, drama, mystery show, which I really love. It was a really big switch up for Kevin Hart and I just was totally into it. Another show that I watched, um, I S it was cowboy bebop. I only watched the show because the, the new one that Netflix put out was so terrible.

    It was just awful. Just utterly unwatchable. I’m not gonna lie. I’m sorry to everyone who’s involved, but it was unwatchable. And I remember everyone saying that just the, the, the. The animated, the original animated show was amazing. And I had to watch that. And so I was like, okay, I’m going to give it a shot.

    Um, Give it a shot. I love cowboy bebop. Oh my God. What an amazing story. Uh, one piece story. It was amazing. Uh, not to be confused. The inmate show one piece. I don’t mean that. I mean, it was just a. Um, original one-off story. I just loved it. The next summer on my list is you’ll hear a lot of anime on here. It’s called be stars.

    B stars. Um, I wouldn’t say it made the list because it just hit that interesting mark to me. Like, it was just enough interesting where I, I enjoyed like I’d come back and watch the next episode. It, but it barely made the list. It wasn’t that great. The next one on my list is flash. Um, on the CW flash.

    I’m a big superhero fan. Um, but, uh, the flash. I’d say the first two seasons were amazing. And then this is another one of those shows that just kind of got boring and late in lost me. Unfortunately. Um, so maybe I’ll pick it back up again and see kind of what happened, but I prefer kind of looking at clips online for now. It just, it got really boring, but it does make the list because the first two episodes were really great.

    Supernatural. Is the next on my list. Everyone loves supernatural. Right? It’s one of those shows that lasted so long can just, it’s kind of like in a way, truthfully, it’s kind of like the office. You know how you put on the office? It doesn’t matter what show or immune, what episode it’s on. You can just start it and enjoy yourself. That’s kinda how i feel about supernatural i put on an episode i really like it um and um i have a good time watching the show i wouldn’t say it’s the best thing i’ve ever watched but it is a really. A really good show.

    The next thing on my list is going to be you. Everybody knows you. You. I’m in following you for a while now. It’s amazing how good you look.

    Oh, good. You.

    Wasn’t that creepy. Um, no, I really love. Uh, I really love you. It’s a great show. Um, really creepy serial killer ish. I’m into those types of shows. Like it a

    The other one is a dub show on Netflix, but it’s still really good. It’s called how to sell drugs online. Fast. I really liked the show. Um, it was a little. Quirky at times, but it, I really loved it and it’s dubbed. So if that doesn’t bother you or if it does bother you, then maybe it’s not for you. But, um, I really, really liked the show. Um, the other one was Lucifer. Everybody loves Lucifer show.

    Um, I really love this show. It’s. And this is another one of those shows. That’s exactly the office you put on an episode. It doesn’t matter what episode you’re on. You’re just enjoying. You can watch it going to sleep. It’s just, it’s a nice show. To fall asleep too, but it’s also a really great show in general.

    The ending of the show. The the finale and the way they ended, it made absolutely. No physical sense. No reasonable. Sense whatsoever. It, it, it, it, it baffled me. It made no sense. But overall good show. The next one’s altered carbon. I got to say altered carbon. It’s kind of a. No R D type of show. It’s kind of like a underground ish.

    Type of show, like maybe you’d like it, maybe you wouldn’t kind of like a scifi thriller. I love it though. I’d say. Without a doubt. The first season is phenomenally better than the second. And there might be three seasons actually, but the first season is just. Almost poetry. It’s just phenomenal. I love it. If you ever want to get to, if you ever want to watch something a little unique and different.

    Little dark Saifai altered carbon. Wow. The next one’s arrow arrow from the CW. Again, another superhero show. Um, I’m a fan of superhero shows. I really liked the show. Um, I like probably the first and second season the most, and then it got super boring. Just like the flash. Unfortunately I didn’t finish it all the way through.

    And, um, You know, I. And to be honest with you, it might remove from my list because I don’t think I ever plan on finishing all the episodes. To be honest with you. So, uh, I’m gonna, I’m gonna call that, uh, a heater right down the middle. I’m not sure about that show. The other one’s mine, hunter.

    Mine hunter phenomenally good show. It’s about two psychologists that interview serial killers, and try to get a read on them and try to figure out what’s the definition of serial killers mean. And. Get inside their psyche. It’s really, really interesting. And I love it. Um, they’re supposed to make another season eventually, who knows, but.

    Uh, we’ll see. The other one is Queen’s gambit. Everyone loves Queen’s gambit. Right. A really, really great show. Um, it’s about a chess, which I’m not going to lie. It took. It took me a while to get on the show. ’cause I’m like. I don’t want to watch a show about chess. I hate fucking hate chess. It sounds boring. What a boring, it’s probably the most boring thing ever.

    And it’s just a damn good written show. I’ll tell you what Netflix has a trend on just making one of the best shows ever. There’s movies. Absolutely suck. But there are shows I gathered good. The other one is called on my block. Comedy show a bit Corky. You know, bitten Nickelodeonish, but it’s really good drama show.

    Um, The teen lovey drama. I mean, I just really love it. It’s a really funny. And. Um, dramatic show, but it’s hilarious. And I actually love the way the show ended. The other one, this one is a soup. Another one that’s super underground. It’s an animated show. It’s called a devil man. Cry, baby. This one is super out there. And I really, someone told me I was one of the best enemies and I tried to watch it. Um, and to be honest, it took me two times to really get into it. I, the first time I watched it, I was like, um, I’m not feeling this.

    The second time I watched it. I, I, you know, I really got it. And then, um, I watched all the way through, I wouldn’t say it’s the best thing I’ve ever seen, but if you follow the story all the way through. I felt like. Yeah, that was an interesting story. That’s what I’ll say about it. It’s an interesting story.

    If you like anime. I think he liked that show. The other one is probably a. Uh, cultural classic Jo Jo’s bizarre adventure, something that’s still going on to this day, Jo Jo’s bizarre adventure. Um, I’ll say something very, maybe unpopular, but it’s my full. Um,

    It’s my full opinion. It will not ever be changed.

    The first and second season of Jo Jo’s bizarre adventure is a masterpiece.

    Anything after that is absolute garbage. Garbage. Just it lacks story. It lacks. Uh, meaning. It’s just. Nonsensical nonsense. Th it’s just trash. Absolute trash. The first two episodes of this. Of this show, a masterpiece. Masterpiece. Anything after that is just absolute garbage. So I highly recommend watching Jo Jo’s bizarre adventure, but I do not.

    Recommend watching anything past the second season. Absolute trash. Um, the other thing on my Netflix list is called the originals. Um, spin off of the vampire diaries. I know what you’re thinking. Or you watch a vampire diaries. You know what I. To be honest with you. I, I did. And, um, I love the show.

    And if I had to pick maybe I’m team Damon. Cause he’s really cool. But my favorite character is Klaus Michelson. Um, and just kind of the. The tortured soul, a nuance of him. I really loved it. Just the way I think he’s one of the best villains. On the, there was on television. Um, the way he played emotion and pain and anger.

    And it was amazing and him having a daughter and they kind of resembled my situation at the time, not the vampire stuff, but obviously, but. Just, oh, it was amazing. I really loved it. I really loved that show the way it ended. I got to say the way, the way the originals ended was another one of those things where I felt like I’m not sure if that fully makes sense.

    Um, You know, I felt like there would have been a way to save him. Didn’t make any sense. But it was beautiful. And sometimes an ending can be beautiful. And that makes sense. So, Um, the other one was a series of unfortunate events. The one of Jim Carrey, wasn’t really a big fan of, but the TV series on Netflix. Wow. What a great mystery show. I just really loved it.

    Kinda got dark too. Um, the other one is probably one of my favorite inmate shows wall time. It’s Castlevania. Castlevania. Wow. What an amazing show again? About, uh, vampires and it was just. Ah, man, it’s about Dracula and, um, I just really loved it. It really dark though, really heavy, you know, but it was.

    Amazing. There’s orgies, threesomes and vampires and drama and Dracula and blood and Gordon. You know, if. But throughout that all, it was a really good story. That’s what I loved about it. Amazing story. The other one on my list is called behind her eyes. Really great story mystery show, um, um, in.

    With a, with a crazy ass twist. The other one on my list is high-rise invasion. This one is kind of like going to a movie. Where. You, you know, you ever see movies where a guy goes to a movies, just like action, boobs, cars, blah, blah, blah, blah. Um, it was kind of like that. And maybe it’s just because I’m a guy that I was into it, but it was a pretty good show. I’m not gonna lie.

    It’s kind of a mystery, a. Dude type of show, but I liked it. Neither one is the other one should be deleted off my list, to be honest, the other ones legacies again, I was just talking about the originals. Um, a spinoff of the original says legacies is about Klaus Michaelson’s daughter. I tried to get into it and it just, um, and I’m going to delete it off my list right now. I just can not get into it. Can I it’s.

    It’s not good. I didn’t like the story. I love the, I watched the last episode though, because class Michelson was in it and it was a beautiful ending. Um, Yeah, and I wanted to see more of that universe, but. You know, I always liked how they stayed somewhat in to kind of. Normalcy. Um, like vampires where Wolfson, whatever.

    But once they introduced a genie into legacies. I was like, okay, you, you went way too far and I’m no longer interested. And, and to be honest with lost me and it was a little just. I did. I did not like here for it. The other one was too hot to handle. Everyone knows that show. It’s a big. Kind of.

    I guess if we’re getting warmed up. About to have sex in bed. You watch too hot to handle, you know, It’s kind of just a, basically a hookup show. Um, the other one is an animated show called you Suki. Um, UCQ is interesting because the guy you Suki is actually a real life black samurai that actually lived.

    A long, long time ago. And there’s a whole bunch of stories written about him. And there was a movie about him at one point. Animated show. I don’t think you’ll ever get a second season. I’m not sure if it got, if it did that well, but I thought the first season was actually really good. The other one is white. Gold. I forgot what the show’s about. What the hell is white gold about?

    Oh, it was this kind of Britain show about this guy who who’s a really cool salesman. It’s about this British salesman who kind of, uh, kind of sells his way to the top. And he’s not the. Most ethical salesman there is, but you know, it’s a really good show. I don’t know how to sell that show to you, but it’s promise. I promise it’s good.

    Haunting. On blind manner. I think everyone is familiar with the show. It’s basically a horror series, but it’s space and love and drama and mystery really love it. Um, the other one is Narcos. Everyone knows Narcos Pablo Escobar. The story’s there. I haven’t watched any of the seasons past Pablo Escobar? No, not for a particular reason. It’s just, I haven’t really been interested, but a.

    Really good show. They, the ones called the Sandman, the Sandman just came out. I got to tell you, the salmon is one of the best written shows of all time. Um,

    I don’t know if I’d go that far, but it’s really damn good show. I’ll tell you that the sixth episode of Sandman. With some of the best storytelling I’ve seen in years. Um, The show itself is great. Um, the other one is called Lupin. It’s about kind of a, uh, how would you call this a, um, a master fif um, uh, um,

    Kind of, um, I don’t know, I’m mastering disguise. She’s a. It’s it’s, it’s a really great show. Um, and it’s very compelling and interesting. The next one is Messiah Messiah barely made lists because it, it just enough interest me enough to keep watching it. It’s about this guy who comes back thinking he’s Jesus and.

    All these supposed miracles happen around him. Um, it got really boring at times and really good at times, and it just made the list for me to stay on. Because it was just interesting enough. The other one is Ozark. Everyone knows. Ozark is probably one of Netflix. Most popular shows. Basically about a money launderer guy has get mixed up in the cartel. Um, really great show. I loved it. The finale.

    Or the series finale, uh, era not too long ago. And I just loved every bit of it. The other one’s called a ratchet. Ratchet’s a pretty interesting show. It’s about a nurse said basically commits murders and it was pretty interesting. The other one’s squid, Wayne, squid games, everyone knows good games. Um, I’m not someone who likes to ride the hype wave. So it took me a while to get on this show. But once I watched it, I realized why everyone loved it. Really good show.

    Uh, another one is just a, my own personal favorite. Uh, it’s top UFO projects. I’m a big alien UFO guy. I like watching this show. Isn’t it. Cause I like Gaylene and I like. Believing that the real, and it was just interesting. The other one is innocent. It’s again, a dub show it’s about this guy who’s accused of a murder. It goes to prison.

    And there’s a whole mystery. And a drama and, um, you know, a suspense that goes behind on whether he actually committed the murder or not. And things that go along with that. It was very interesting. It’s dubbed though, but it’s a really good show. The other one is another one of a, an animated show that I really love. And again, one of my favorite anime shows of all time, seven deadly sins.

    Seven deadly sins. Oh my God. Well, what a great show I don’t have. There’s no bad season in the show. It’s just a really good show. A lot of fighting on action. A lot of blood. Really loved the show tremendously. Just a lot. Everyone’s eaten another anime show. I can’t remember what it’s really, to be honest, I can’t remember what’s about, but it’s a really good show. Apparently I’m looking at it and I.

    I briefly remember it was kind of just about this. Um, what do you call that? What’s the word when it’s like post-apocalyptic or something like that. You’re a. Cyber punk or it’s like in the future, this. I don’t know. I don’t know what the word for it is. I think you guys aren’t talking about, but it’s a really good show.

    Um, the other one is Eden zero, same type of deal, actually. I’m not into, to be honest with you, it’s really same type of deal, but it’s a really good futuristic show. I love it, everyone. Uh, no stranger things. That’s my next one. Stranger things love it. Eighties. Just, you know, I’m excited to see what happens next.

    I want to Dracula. And I mean, just Dracula, just the titles called Dracula to Netflix animated or not flip, not animated. It’s Netflix series. It’s about how Dracula’s survives from maybe like the 18, 17 hundreds now to like 2020. And, uh, just such an interesting show. I really loved it all the way through.

    Love death and robots. That is an anthology series. Every episode is something different in a really, uh, detailed animated form. Um, sometimes the animation doesn’t even look like animation. It looks just like real life and it’s just. In each episode is something different and creative and they’re just like short little stories and some of them are actually quite beautiful and interesting and shocking.

    The other one is arcane. Arcane is like game of Thrones animated. And that was a really good show. I. It’s based off. Um, a game by the way, but Sergeant good show. I loved it. The other one is just. Uh, brand new, it’s called a gamer to tolerate. Guillermo Del Toro’s cabinet of curiosities as basically a horror series that just every episode is something different. Like I said before, with a love, death and robots.

    Um, each episode is a different horror story and I just loved it. The other one is the Witcher that one’s based on a game. I actually just played that game not too long ago. Love it. Uh, the Witcher great show. Um, Saifai medieval, blah, blah, blah. Really good show. Everyone’s sexify with the fucking sex.

    What is the show? Oh, I’d say it’s more of, kind of a female-based show. It was about just. College people experiencing. Saxon shit like that, but it was a really good show. And, uh, I feel like that’s all I got to say about that. The other one is record of Ragnar rock. Again, this is one of those shows where it’s kind of like going to the movies and.

    It’s like the typical guy, that’s going to see a movie that’s like boobs, guns, robots. Uh, liquor, you know, um, that’s kinda what the show’s about. It’s about like how mortals are the best fighters in the world are fighting these gods. To see if human race can survive. Um, Um, so they have to go through like a battle of them. I don’t know how to describe it, but it’s really a show.

    The umbrella academy, the umbrella academy is a really good show. It’s about like these time-traveling superheroes who. Just try to save the day on some random shit that happens. And there’s these timekeepers. I’m not explaining it really well, but. I that one, I it’s hard to explain, but it’s a really, really good show.

    The finale of last season. It was questionable. But it was a really great show, dark desire, dark desires, another, but it’s this actually. Oh, dark desire. Especially a Spanish horny drama series, but there’s actually a really good. This is so much mysteries and that show it’s dubbed. Um, but it was a really good show and, um, but it’s, it’s very sexual, very, very sexual show.

    The only one is ultra man, another animated series, really good, or just based on a guy who found some alien suits or whatever, and decided to be a super hero. Love it. Um, the other one is called the blood of Zeus. It’s about this, uh, it’s about Zeus’s son gang center earth. And tries to be the hero of earth and a rise above the gods. I love it.

    Um, I love type of, I love medieval kind of ancient Greek stories. The other one is inside, man. There’s only four episodes of the show. I thought it was really good. It’s about a priest who does a lot of crimes and it’s about a guy who’s in jail for his wife’s murder, but he’s super smart and it looks like he regrets his wife’s murder and doesn’t.

    I don’t know. It’s interesting. It’s a really good show. There’s only four episodes. It doesn’t make sense. There’s only four episodes, so it’s gets a weird. But it just came out really good show. Um, then one’s breaking bad. Everyone knows that one. Walter White drugs, meth lab. The other one is the Lincoln lawyer. Really good show. And it’s about a lawyer who it’s kind of like Lucifer, but.

    W minus the supernatural stuff in, instead of being a detective, he’s a lawyer. Really good, Joe. No one’s grew the great pretender it’s about these con artists it’s and this is an animated show. It’s about these con artists that go through a whole bunch of shit to con people and. Um, it’s just a really, really good show.

    Um, amazing story by the way. The other one is probably my favorite animated series of all time. The animate, my favorite it’d be it’s because the story is so amazing. It’s called death note. Everyone knows death note, you put your name in a book. Someone dies, you get the power of the gods in your hand or in a book.

    Um, I think it’s one of the best well-written animated shows of all time. There’s a movie that came out that was absolutely trash. Um, but death note, my favorite animators of all time, the story, the mystery. Fucking amazing. The ending so beautiful. Super crooks. It’s basically these soup, basically these superheroes that turned super villains, but they’re not actually villains or anti.

    Hero’s and, um, and, uh, you know, it’s about these crooks and they’re trying to get away with crimes and there’s this guy who’s like Superman, and he’s trying to. Um, outsmart. Everyone is so interesting. I love it. The other one is called inventing Anna. Uh, everyone knows that show. It’s about this girl from, uh, New York who cons everyone to believing she’s a Russian emperor and starts a business ends up failing and she gets caught and then goes to jail and blah, blah, blah.

    The other one is called hero mask. It’s about this detective. It’s an animated show that, uh, it’s about the, yes. I don’t know how to describe the show. It’s about a detective who just goes through a whole bunch of shit to try to prove that he’s right. And it’s such a good show. They don’t want to travelers travelers is another Netflix show. That just is fucking amazing. It’s about these time travelers that go back in time to try to fix things and make sure that the world doesn’t.

    The world isn’t destroyed in their future. A really good show. The other one’s black Amir. But everyone knows black mirror. It’s an anthology episodes of different Twilight zone type shit. Really good. And then one is BoJack horseman, BoJack horseman, and that’s the final one on my list, by the way, for my Netflix.

    List is. It’s a show that really.

    It’s a show that really is. It’s true and dear to my heart because. Is it it’s a comedy animated show, but it deals with real shit. It deals with real problems and depression. And, and it just kinda shows you how to deal with depression. Shows what depression looks like. And. How to face it and it teaches you lessons kind of along the way, too, when it’s really deep and heartbreaking at times. And it can be sad at times. It can be funny at times. And.

    Oh, man. I love BoJack horseman. Um, so that’s it. That’s my Netflix list. And I’m over the next couple of months or so we’ll event. We’ll do we’ll pop it another bonus episode to talk about. Another streaming service will go to HBO. Max will go to Hulu Disney, and I’ll talk about my lists on each one of those. And, um, I’ll make these kind of the little fun bonus episodes for you guys.

    That kind of switched it up when I’m feeling kind of too stressed to talk about the real shit in life. You know what I mean? So, uh, yeah, so I hope you guys liked that this little switch up and, uh, I hope. That, uh, some of the descriptions I gave on my Netflix list, uh, is something that you’d watch with a partner or a friend or a date, or just watch on your own because they’re fucking good. I promise you.

    Um, so the next thing I’ll do is I’ll move into the next segment of my podcast, which is called mailbag. And I’ll just be reading off some of the questions or concerns or. Um, just general comments that you guys had for, um, the shell. So if you have a question that you want to be answered on the show,

    All you have to do is email me at hello at Vinpac. Dot org. And in the subject line type of mailbag and type in your question. And if you want a guaranteed question, read. I can’t, I can’t guarantee they’ll read all of the questions by email, but if you want a guaranteed. Um, question read. Then go to our Patrion it’s Patrion, uh, slash.

    Uh, the single father podcast. And there’s different tiers. You can join. I can get I’ll shout out your names at the end of the episode, and maybe you can guaranteed. Uh, get one of your questions answered. So without further ado, let’s go into mailbag. And this one’s coming from. Uh, non-US. If you had to go back and change anything from your past relating to your daughter, what would you do? Um,

    Good question. What would I change? Well, it depends on kind of what you’re asking. You’re asking, what would I change in general about the situation or just with my daughter? I wouldn’t change anything about my daughter or there’s things that I wish that I. I mean as a parent sometimes. Especially as a single parent, you can kind of just snap sometimes and be like, God damn it.

    Well, blah, blah, blah, blah. And, um, you know, I, I think about it every time that, you know, um, She’s away from me about maybe some, something that I said, and I feel bad. And I’m like, ah, maybe I should just be more calm. And, uh, that’s one thing that I’m really trying to accept in my life right now, especially with my daughter is to.

    Let things go and let it. Just let things be as they be. Meaning, if you know, she spills water on my floor and pretends it’s a pool. Yeah, I’m going to be like, yeah, don’t do that. But am I going to freak out? No. You know what I mean? If she knocked something over and I have to clean it up later.

    I’m not going to freak out. You know what I mean? It’s. I’m I’m now learning that I should just kind of let things be. And. Just chill out. You know, she’s only four years old. She’s a toddler. She’s going to do stupid shit. Just chill out, but what would I change in general? I’m not sure. Um, my friend just called me on less long ago, you know, asking you advice about, uh, his child since he’s having, uh, um,

    Uh, a kid himself, um, and. I thought. You know, maybe one of the things I wish I did was just be all in with her mother, just to kind of see what would happen. You know, and maybe I didn’t up in the same position. Maybe we’ve still ended up not liking each other. Um, but you know, there was a lot of reasons that her and I, uh, not didn’t work out and we, I couldn’t get there emotionally, but sometimes I wonder what happened if I just really went all in and tried, would I be in the same position?

    Um, but I don’t dwell on it because what happened happened, and I feel like everything happened for a reason. And. Here I am. And, uh, yeah. So. Let’s add. Uh, next question from anonymous. So what are the one, uh, sorry, I messed that up. Well, what’s some of the things that you do to calm your daughter down when she’s angry.

    Um, well, we do a lot of. Take a deep breath. So I say Layla. Take a deep breath. And sometimes she she’s so emotional where she’s like I can’t and she cries and she’s. Really trying and she’s working herself up and she cries and blah, blah, blah. And she’s like, I’m like Layla, Layla. And I put my hand on her chest.

    And I just say I’m here. Take a deep breath. I’m right here, baby. Take a deep breath. And eventually. And she’ll calm down. She’ll take a deep breath. And we’ll do a couple of those together. And then she’ll be okay. Um, And that kind of goes back to the question a little bit. It is. I try to calm myself down near too, because if she’s upset and I’m upset.

    It’s like a tornado means a volcano. You know, it doesn’t work. So, um, I try to just relax and put my hand on our chest and say, take a deep breath. And usually that works. Um, she’s really good at. Um,

    Hold on. I say she’s really good at. Making sure that she herself is okay. Um, so yeah. Um, next question from anonymous. How was your Thanksgiving? I think saving was really good. Um, we’ll talk more about that. Um, Next episode. There’s a lot of things that happen after Thanksgiving. Um, I think just having family around and it being the holidays, you.

    You know, you always end up with some emotions and, um, Um, we’ll definitely talk about it, but. Thanksgiving itself. It was really good. I got to spend it with my daughter. And, um, I had a good time. I really did. And I cooked. I cooked this whole time. I cooked everything by myself for my family. I went to Costco and got a whole bunch of stuff. I warmed up the oven and made a Turkey. I made Mac and cheese. I mean, games I made.

    Um, green beans. I mean everything by myself and I cooked for my whole family and it felt really good. And I think I’m going to keep that tradition for my daughter every, every year. I’ll try to host Thanksgiving at my house. And I think there’ll be a really nice treat. Just a sort of family tradition like that.

    Um,

    Anyways. Um, sorry. I thought I saw, I thought I heard something in my house and I got not frightened, but I was like, Hmm. How did that slip by me? That someone came at my house and robbed me without me knowing anyways. Um, next question. What.

    All right. That’s an inappropriate question. I, uh,

    I wish I could share that one. I cannot, um, What the fuck. Uh, next question. What would you do differently if you were together with someone right now, instead of being a single father? Uh, I don’t know what you mean by that. Where you, what would I do differently with the podcast or would I do differently in life?

    Um, I’ll answer both questions. What I do differently with the podcast? Well, obviously, uh, well it depends that also kind of depends what you mean. If it was when I was. If me and her mother never broke up, or if I was with someone. Since Dane one, um, there probably would be no single father podcast, to be honest with you.

    Um, but what I do differently if I had someone now, um, probably nothing. I think the person that I’m with would be understanding of the title, being what it is. And, um, Um, I would try to integrate our relationship. Um, within the podcast as much as possible. But, you know, in life, nothing is ever certain. So what I changed the name of my podcast, just because I have a girlfriend.

    I, I really wouldn’t. Um, so what would I do differently? If I had a girl in my life in general, like I said, I don’t think the podcast would exist. But, uh,

    I don’t know, I’d be having. More. Money to spend, I guess I’m not sure. Uh, what happened with that girl? There’s another question. What happened with that girl that you were dating? Not too long ago? Um, the girl I was dating just recently, actually, she.

    She.

    Hm. No, but I think we’ve moved a little fast. Um, And I think that contributed to why we’re not together, but you know, I’m not sure if she really wanted to be a step-mom in this totally understandable because. Um, Well, number one, I wasn’t really asking to be a step-mom, but you know, when you’re thinking about.

    When you’re my age, 27, 28. And you’re thinking about the rest of your life. You got to decide, but you know, what do you really want? And I’m not sure if she really wanted. A kid in her relationship. Um, because yeah, I mean, I will admit when you’re dating me, you are accepting that there was another kid.

    Well, there is a kid within this relationship as well. Um, and it doesn’t have to be right away, but you know, you have to accept that. And I don’t think that she was ready to accept that. And, um, And that’s that I wish her all the best. It didn’t last long. Um, so it didn’t really bug me too much.

    I’m sad to say and it respectfully, but. Oh, wow. Um, Yeah.

    Next question is what do you use for your podcast? Um, like what hosting platform I use speaker. Um, I feel like, uh, oh, you did. You did. At the end there, he says, what do you use for your podcast? Do you use anchor? Um, I do not use anchor. I used to use anchor and, um, nothing against anchor it.

    It’s not really a great podcast to make a lot of money on. To be honest with you. So, um, And to kind of monetize yourself. And I feel like speaker was a better platform to do that for me. And. Whether it’s speed. Excuse me, whether it’s speaker or wherever I go next. I’m not sure. But right now I’m happy. And, um, it’s a really good platform for me to release episodes on.

    Um, next question.

    Do you see yourself doing this full-time ever. Yeah. I mean, um, I’ve been asked this before many different way. Um, when it comes to my goals, um, The goals I have for the podcast is to grow and to monetize into ask you guys to like subscribe and share and to grow my audience. And eventually I feel like I could do this full time.

    I’m, you know, I’m not sure I’m not in the position to do it right now, but, uh, you know, I’m always looking at new creative options and. Ideas and how to grow, um, the podcast. So if you want to support the podcast in any way, um, go to Patrion, uh, slash the single father podcast, and you can just support the podcast for like $5 a month. Price of a cup of coffee.

    Um, and it will allow us to grow and create better episodes and get amazing guests on the show and et cetera, et cetera. So, uh, um, yeah. All right. Next, next question. Um, have you ever, have you ever invited a guest on your show? And they said, no, uh, Yes, I have. Um, I had someone that I really, really wanted on my show and I felt like it was reasonable for them to do it. And they did say now,

    And I’m not sure why. Um, we were negotiating for awhile on. I just, uh, um, I don’t want to go too much into it, but yeah, they did say now, and I don’t want to say who, because. Maybe I can still get them on one day. Um, we’ll see. Uh, all right. A couple more questions. I’m going to rapid-fire here.

    Um, what do you look forward to woman? Um, what do I look for in a woman? Um, just really someone who is done earth can, can, um, I mean, you know, Um, I, I’m not gonna lie to you. I will get a little vulnerable here. There’s this song that I really love and it’s called lend me your voice. And it’s by this movie that I really like let’s see, lend me your voice.

    By bell, the movie’s called bell. I think it’s on HBO, max. Um, and it’s a song about a girl just saying, um, You know, just let me in, let me. Help you, you can tell me everything that you wouldn’t tell anyone else. I’m here for you and I love you. And I just. It’s it sounds sappy, but it’s really kind of everything I wanted to hear.

    From a woman, you know, I just felt like. Sometimes I’m like, uh, Um, a broken hearted man, just kind of walking around and waiting for a woman to put me back together. Um, and, and listen, I’m not, that doesn’t mean. I’m looking for a mommy by any means, right? But I really would like a partner who can accept me for who I am and.

    Laugh with me and be there for me. Let me vent to them. Like I went to you guys and I just, there’s something beautiful about having someone who can just look at your soul and be there for you, you know, look at your soul and just accept. The love that’s in your heart and someone who can just look at your soul and just say, I love you.

    I think there’s something so amazing about that. And. Um, I dunno, let’s get, let’s going way deep, but really I’m just looking for a girl who’s cool and funny and, um, makes me laugh. And I get along with blah, blah, blah. The usual stuff. Um, let’s see the next question. Why do you think you’re not in a relationship right now? Um, I don’t know.

    Uh, yeah.

    Uh, next question. Um,

    This one is inappropriate. All right. Uh, I’m going to answer just a few few more here. Um, um, I, do you plan on getting, ever getting a cohost. Uh, I answered this question before. Um, I don’t think it really makes sense for me to get a co-host right now. It would depend on what that looks like. Uh, but the way my schedule is and things like that, um,

    I think, I think the brand is myself. Um, there will be opportunities for people to vent with me on the podcast, for sure, but through Patrion, but, um, as far as the cohost, I think. I think the brand really just kind of fits me as of right now. So, um, never say never, but I think as of right now,

    I’m pretty content where it’s at. Um, next question. Uh, let’s see here. I answered that one, answered that one answer. Uh, I think we’re good for right now. Yeah, so guys, thank you very much for being a. Subscriber. For listening. For supporting me.

    For. Just. Being there for me. I love doing this. I love venting with you guys. And please like subscribe, share this episode. Comment, leave a review. And just click that five star review. It just really helps me in the podcast and allows us to grow and all that good stuff. Check out our Patrion. If you want to support us, if you want to support the podcast, just $5 a month, that’s all it takes. It’s amazing. And I’ll shout out your name at the end of every episode.

    Um, that’s all it takes. Really. It just started just launched the Patrion. So just check it out. Um, visit our shop. Let’s check out some merch that we have on the podcast. So shop.men pact. packed.org. Um, you can look at, uh, our stuff on Facebook and Instagram, which is just at the single father podcast. Make sure you follow us there.

    Um, thank you guys so much for just 📍 allowing me to vent with you. And, uh, yeah, until next time. I’m your host, Kendall Docker, AKA father DZ. And, uh, Let’s spend together. Soon. Bye-bye